Dr. KP; PhD in ‘Being Selfish’

As susceptible selfish humans, we need to take medicine DAILY to fend off the highly contagious disease known as ‘I-Think-I’m-An-Idol-Perfect-Enough-To-Be-Worshipped’ Disease (commonly known as the Selfish Disease, or the Self-Obsessed Disease). Anyone can catch it, and it affects every ethnicity, gender, profession, country, city, and town. No one is safe. Signs of the disease are: self-obsession, moodiness, addiction to social media, constantly refreshing their page to view the most updated amount of ‘likes’ or ‘comments’, not listening to others, not engaging with family or friends in person, constant chatter about their recent accomplishments, not asking or caring what anyone else has to say, etc.

The only antidote is #AntiSelfObsessed Medication, and it’s prescribed through the Bible, sold at a Bookstore near you over the counter (or even on your Iphone for free!). #AntiSelfOobsessed Medication also fights against other deadly bacteria’s such as Idols, Egotism, and Self-Righteousness. The Medication consists of a mix between: 20% genuine interest in someone other than yourself, 20% doing acts of kindness with nothing in return, 30% unashamed love & patience, 25% realizing that there is more to life than the ‘here and now’, and 5% accepting you might not have all the answers.

If caught early enough in the beginning stages of selfishness, this horrific disease should not spread to the rest of the body, especially the heart and the brain. But please!: proceed with caution, because once it reaches those vital organs, then well, we have someone among us who is physically breathing, and moving, but not really living. The ‘I-Think-I’m-An-Idol-Perfect-Enough-To-Be-Worshipped’ Disease has unfortunately taken over their body, and they are no longer living the life they were meant to live. There is still hope, but they have officially been over taken with Selfishness; a very common, but fatal disease that has caused an epidemic all over the world. Treatments should be handled quickly and taken with care.

In case of emergencies: please remove their phone, quickly take away all mirrors and computer cameras. Force the diagnosed person outside to absorb something else other than themselves. This should relieve their symptoms until further help arrives. 

Leave a Reply